Shaant
by superstr480
Summary: "If she wasn't going to fight for love, then what were her grounds for wanting Vaughn in her life?" Sydney realizes some things are for sure, no matter what. S/V
1. 1 1

Title: Shaant  
Author: Annie  
Rating: G  
Timeline: Sometimes after "the Coup" but no real knowledge necessary. Just vague references. Anytime in Season One, I suppose.  
Summary: "If she wasn't going to fight for love, then what were her grounds for wanting Vaughn in her life?" Sydney realizes some things are for secure, no matter what. S/V  
Disclaimer: I seriously own nothing. Like seriously. You wouldn't believe.  
Distribution: I'd be more than honored to have this anywhere. Just drop me a note.  
Genre: Drama/ Romance It's not angst-y, but it's not fluff, I guess.  
Author's Note: This is my first work in Alias section. I wrote one thing for another show, but I got no reviews, so it discouraged me a bit. If you could please review, it'd really make me a happy, (more confident) writer. I have more planned for this but I'm not sure whether to write it or not, so tell me whether to continue or not. I'd just really like feedback as to whether this was actually worth a read or not.   
Oh and if you wanted to know, the title means safety, peace, stability in Hindi (the official language spoken in India)  
  
They took him away.   
  
Without a care, without a second thought (actually second, third and fourth thoughts are what led to this.)  
  
She argued, exerting nothing had happened.  
  
They countered, asserting that if they were to wait for what they deemed the inevitable, it would be too late.  
  
She threatened to quit.  
  
They told her if she felt so strongly about the situation, then their actions were only more justified.  
  
She threatened to quit again.  
  
They told her she could if she wanted to.  
  
But then one of them leaned forward, and peered into her eyes. She stared back at the green-----not my choice of green-----and defiantly dared him to raise his point.  
  
He asked her whether she'd really enjoy going back to work for SD-6 as a loyal agent, knowing the betrayal they put her through. You don't wait to quit, he told her, and she had to restrain herself from quitting right there. He was right.  
  
She wanted to kick herself. She was such an easy target. Her guard had been down since they had caught her by surprise. Joey's Pizza had called and she had made her way to the warehouse, expecting Vaughn. What a surprise when she'd seen the three of them there. She didn't really mind the senior two; it was the last guy she took special interest in glaring at. Vaughn had told her once that he'd been reported by some weasel, and upon laying eyes on the youngest of the men, she had no doubt that he was exactly all Vaughn had said, and more.  
  
"Agent Bristow…" they began, and proceeded to tell her the situation. In plain blatant words, as if they weren't taking away her only lifeline, as if they weren't ridding her of her sole source of solace, as if they weren't adding to the list of people taken away that she had loved. She caught herself with that thought, but quickly dismissed it. If she wasn't going to fight for love, then what were her grounds for wanting Vaughn in her life? It was love, after all that made her cling so desperately to his every word of reassurance. Love that made his smile the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. Love that made her fight every day for SD-6 to end, so she could live normally.  
Half of her wanted to scream that to them-didn't they have wives they loved, people that they couldn't love without? ------Well, she thought wryly, maybe not that last guy-----. Half of her wanted to just show them that no matter how dangerous it was, she had already crossed the point of no return. She needed Vaughn.  
  
The other half-----the rational half, she thought self-deprecatingly----realized that they were doing what they thought was best. And it was best for Vaughn. His job wouldn't be threatened anymore-she glared at the rat-like creature in front of her when she thought of that-his life wouldn't be threatened anymore. He could forget about her and life-----well his anyway-would be good------ and more importantly, simple. Which was exactly what Vaughn deserved.  
  
But she knew he wouldn't forget her. Because she wouldn't forget him. Because he invested too much care into each mission. Because she brightened a little too much every time he smiled. Because he was a little too willing to meet her at all odd hours. Because of that little part of her that was always a little glad to be in the warehouse.  
  
What am I going to do without him? She thought woefully. And who the hell is going to be my handler? She glanced in front of her. Please don't let it be this fool.  
  
They were talking but she still wasn't listening.------ Why should I listen to them rationalize this? I know it's wrong. Besides, they didn't exactly listen to me on the matter. Like hell I'm going to listen.------ She put up a defiance stance of ignorance-if only in her mind.  
  
"… Miss Bristow… Miss Bristow?" the most senior of them demanded. Better listen now, Syd. He's not a happy camper. Then again, neither am I. "Are you listening?"  
  
"You have more to say?" she asked.  
  
"Yes, and I think you'll be interested in this last part," he said. She -reluctantly- paid attention.  
"Now Agent Vaughn has already prepared your latest mission, so tomorrow he will perform his final duties as your handler. He will also inform you of who your new handler will be," he said. In all her jumbled reactions, she had never imagined she'd get to say goodbye to him. But she would. "This is more than we would allow in other circumstances, but this partnership has not been entirely fruitless"-- fruitless?-- "and so we have granted you this reprieve." Reprieve my ass.  
She walked in slowly and took the sight of him in.------ Take a long, hard look, girlie, because it is going to have to last you a long while.------ He met her gaze, muddling it so she didn't know where green ended and brown began.  
  
"There goes stability," she muttered. She didn't know why she said it, but it felt unceremonious to begin this meeting-----our last meeting------with their usual "hey".  
  
"I'll still be around," he said.------- And award for the agent with the least ability to lie: Michael Vaughn!------ She told him so.  
  
"You're a horrible, terrible liar," she said. He retorted with a lopsided grin. ------He doesn't need to say anything else. That's enough to make any woman speechless.------   
  
"Isn't that what you liked about me the most?" he answered. She smiled her acquiescence.------ But you wouldn't believe how many things come in a close second. "So this is our last meeting."------  
  
"God, I'd hoped we'd say that on the day we were ready to raid SD-6," she replied, wistfully.  
  
"It'll come sooner than you think," he said. She gave him a look. "It will. You're amazing."  
  
"I'm not alone," she said. He looked at her, a small smile playing on his lips.   
  
"I'm going to see you, you know that right? And even if I don't, I'm going to be in your life."  
  
"What do you mean?" she said. He caught the hope in her voice, and she knew it.------ It's about time we stopped playing games.------  
  
"Well, when SD-6 is brought down. We're going to meet in a public place, and just… I don't know party I guess," he said, with a smile that said he didn't quite believe what he had just said.   
  
She didn't miss didn't miss it either. -----Party?-----  
  
"Party?" she asked, incredulously.  
  
"Well, celebrate," he said.  
  
"Celebrate what?"  
  
"Your freedom. Finally getting rid of my worry. The fact that you can do whatever the hell you want. The fact that I can actually see you. Us being able to hang out, meet each other's friends. Us not having to talk about a countermission," he looked at her, continuing as her smile widened. "Just us." Her heart leapt a bit.  
  
"Pipe dream?"  
  
"I'd hope you'd believe it coming from me," he said. She gazed at him. ------Long lashes. Thin, smooth lips. High cheekbones. And the piece de resistance, those eyes. ------  
  
"I'm going to miss you," she told him.  
  
"Weiss'll fill you in on what's going on with me. And vice versa," he said. Her eyes widened. "Yeah, Eric's taking over for you." She grinned. "I'm glad you approve.  
  
"I was scared it'd be Haladki," she said. Vaughn made a face.   
  
"I might not be your handler anymore, but god I would never let them do that to you," he said, with a chuckle. "He'll make sure we stay in each other's lives." The last sentence was said solemnly, as if Vaughn had finally stopped ignoring the fact that he'd barely-if ever-get to see her again.  
  
------What am I going to do without you?------  
  
"What am I going to do without you?" she asked, tearing up. He walked over and pulled her into an embrace. Possibly the last time I'll be in your arms.   
  
"You're going to torture Eric and tell him everything you would've told me, so he can relay it back to me," he said into her hair. He slowly, tantalizingly ran his fingers through it. "You're going to be the strong, vigilant, amazing woman you are, and prove that you don't need anything to be that-"  
  
"I need you," she squeaked.  
  
"No. You just need that faith in yourself that has to be there without a doubt when you're as incredible you are," he said. She smiled into his shoulder, and he acknowledged it by pulling her closer. I can't get much closer than this, she thought. It can't get much better than this. He continued. "You're going to bring down SD-6 and live the life you've deserved." God, Vaughn. You should be a writer. Or a poet. Or a public speaker. Or just something where you use words, because somehow you always find the right ones.   
  
"Syntax," she said, quietly into his shoulder.  
  
"What?" he asked.  
  
"Syntax," she said. "It's the literary tool of choosing what word to use in a sentence to convey the right meaning."  
  
"Oh," he said, raising an eyebrow for a further explanation. ------God, that's the sexiest thing I've ever seen.------  
  
"You have a good grasp of it. You always say the right things, in the right way, and for the right reasons," she explained.  
  
"I see. Always? Not always," he countered.  
  
"Always. It's part of the whole stability deal, I guess," she muttered the last sentence. He laughed and then quieted. "You've got to go,' he said. Tears sprang to her eyes and spilled down her cheeks and she nodded into his shoulder.  
  
"I'll miss you so much," she said, sobbing silently.  
  
"I won't let Weiss let you," he said. She laughed.  
"You better not," she replied, as he pulled away.  
  
They stared at each other, gaze full of longing, want, hope and most of all-best of all-love.  
  
"I wrote down your countermission, so we wouldn't have to talk about it," he said. He handed her a file. She nodded at his thoughtfulness. "I'll see-well I won't, but one day, Syd."  
  
"I'm holding you to that," she said. He looked like he was going to reply but instead smiled, and nodded. His eyes were glassy. He's almost crying. Could he be more perfect?   
  
He walked a few steps, then turned and rested his hand on her arm.  
  
"You want stability?" She nodded. "Truth is stability." She nodded once more, not daring to speak.  
  
"Here's your stability. I'm in love with you, Sydney," he said, and walked out of the warehouse.   
  
It was forty-five minutes later when Dixon called her, asking her if she was ready to go to the airport, that she finally moved. 


	2. 1 2

Title: Shaant  
Author: Annie  
Rating: G  
Timeline: Sometimes after "the Coup" but no real knowledge necessary. Just vague references. Anytime in Season One, I suppose.  
Summary: "If she wasn't going to fight for love, then what were her grounds for wanting Vaughn in her life?" Sydney realizes some things are for secure, no matter what. S/V  
Disclaimer: I seriously own nothing. Like seriously. You wouldn't believe.  
Distribution: I'd be more than honored to have this anywhere. Just drop me a note.  
Genre: Drama/ Romance It's not angst-y, but it's not fluff, I guess  
Author's Note: Here's the second chapter. In my opinion, it's not as good but hopefully you enjoy it. There should be one more part coming up soon. I wanna really dedicate this to everyone who reviewed and read the story (and my other one). You guys wouldn't believe how much your words mean and how much you inspire me. I hope my stories and owkr entertain you and I guarantee you that this story? I'm planning the happiest ending ever. I think. Hahah you never know with me but anyway to end where I started. Thank you guys. Here's chapter two.  
She still remembers that flight. ----- Boy, do I remember that flight. ----- Ask her how long it was, she wouldn't be able to tell you. Ask her what movies they'd showed, or whether she'd had a window or aisle seat, she wouldn't be able to tell you.  
  
Dixon even noticed. -----So much for being covert. ------  
  
"What's going on Syd? You're like fifty billion miles away," he said. "You sounded out of it on the phone, too. Did something happen today?"  
  
-----Oh Dixon. If you only knew. My handler-- for the CIA by the way, not SD-6 because I'm a lying partner who is a double agent-- was taken away from me. He's basically the only thing that keeps me from going insane. I got to say goodbye to him though. And guess what? He got to say that he loved me. And as you speak, I've been thinking about how I think I love him too. -----  
  
"Syd… Sydney?" Dixon asked her again. -----Answering would be good Sydney-----  
  
"Sorry just didn't get much sleep last night, and I've got a lot on my mind," she answered weakly.   
  
"Like?" he pressed.  
  
"Just this paper I have to work on," she said.   
  
"I'm sure you'll do fine," he said, reassuringly.  
  
She hadn't done fine, not on the flight at least .The whole time all that had swirled through her head was Vaughn. She went over every memory, every moment, every word he'd ever said, because she realized it was all for her. Vaughn did everything for her and she missed him so much. She hadn't seen him in months and…  
  
"Sydney, would you listen?" Weiss asked impatiently.  
  
"Sorry, I was just thinking," she replied. -----Of Vaughn. -----  
  
"Of Vaughn?" he asked. She blanched. -----Good grief Weiss, are you telepathic? -----  
  
"Umm…" she stuttered.  
  
"He's doing really good. Remember how I told you ever since his case had been solved, they were figuring what to do?" Weiss continued. She nodded. Weiss had without fail told her everything that was going on with Vaughn. She in turn was supposed to the same but inevitably most of it was classified and she'd just tell Weiss to tell Vaughn she missed him. She hadn't been half as miserable as she'd thought she'd be-- not to say she didn't need Vaughn. But he was there, in his own special, invisible -----guardian angel----- way.   
  
He'd been doing very well too. After her, he'd handled another walk-in but much less complicated than her. The person had known some of the dealings of a local arms supplier and Vaughn had done amazingly. Sydney remembered the first thing she'd asked was whether the walk-in was female. She was indeed, but she had a fiancé and Weiss assured her than she had nothing to worry about. -----When a guy looks like Vaughn, there's always something to worry about. -----  
  
"He got promoted! Again!" Weiss said. She smiled. -----He deserves it. He works so hard----- "And it turns out his new job is a lot of deskwork but a lot less work than before. So guess what?" Weiss looked really excited.  
"What?" she asked. ----- He's found a beautiful wife, who is now pregnant and can be normal and he realizes he doesn't need to be in love with someone he hasn't seen in months?-----  
  
"He's coaching a Pee Wee hockey league!" Weiss said excitedly. -----God, he's practically giddy!----- Still, the idea of Vaughn coaching little kids made her heart ache a bit. He's so great, she thought. CIA agent and Pee Wee hockey coach on the side.   
  
"Really? Well I'm glad he finally has time on his hands that he can do something he loves," she said.  
  
"I'm sure he'd be your case officer in a second if he had the chance," Weiss said. "But it's been like two sessions, and he loves those kids. He's dying for you to meet them."  
  
"I wish I could," she said. -----Hell, I'd join if I could. Learn some hockey with a cute coach? I'd do a lot less for Vaughn-----  
  
"Okay, countermission," Weiss said. He did that often. Whenever the mood was down, Weiss would change the subject. -----My new stability. ----- It wasn't too bad actually, having Weiss instead of Vaughn. He did his best, and true to Vaughn's word, never let either of their lives slip away.   
  
Weiss detailed the countermission and she listened like every meeting.  
  
"Well, I'll talk to you in Hong Kong," he said. She nodded and smiled at him. Hopping of the crate, she kissed him on the cheek. "Whoa, you shouldn't have done that. Vaughn's going to be really mad that after five months, I got a kiss when after almost a year all he got was fired." Sydney laughed, and gave him a kiss on his other cheek.  
  
"That one's for him," she said. ----- God, she wished she could give it to him herself. ----- Weiss feigned disappointment.  
  
"And here I thought you liked me," he replied. She laughed.  
  
"Emotionally attached, are we?" she asked. He let out a short laugh.  
  
"Get me fired, and every single agent will want to be your handler," he said. She giggled. -----But I only want one. ----- Weiss made a horrible face.   
  
"What?" she asked, sobering.  
  
"I'm just thinking about how much Vaughn is not going to like me relaying today's message," he said, wrinkling his nose. She giggled again.  
  
"I'll talk to you in Hong Kong," she said, exiting. She didn't stop giggling until she was five blocks away from her house. -----Thank God Vaughn knows how to pick his friends. -----  
She'd made her way to Hong Kong the next day. The mission was long but not complicated. In fact the first three hours----- three hours Weiss! ----- required her to wait. Weiss had contacted her to tell her than he might not have been able to be on comms with her. She got to the party she was supposed to wait at, and settled in a corner where no one would notice her. She went on radio silent with Dixon, and switched to the CIA frequency to see who was on the other end.  
  
"Who am I talking to?" she said. "Because you better get ready to entertain me for the next three hours." She heard a laugh on the other side.  
  
"Do me a favor. Whatever you did to make Weiss feel he had to kiss me… next time don't do it," the voice had replied. Her heart leapt. -----I'm dreaming. This has officially, already become the best mission ever. -----  
  
"Vaughn?" she squeaked.  
  
"Weiss didn't tell you? He wasn't able to make it, and they decided that I couldn't put you in danger over the comms," he said laughing.  
  
"But-" she began.  
  
"It's all approved, don't worry, " he replied.  
  
"How-"   
  
"Weiss is just the best friend ever."  
  
"And-"  
  
"He'll pick up again when you've got to work on your mission but until then I'm all yours." -----How can he read my mind? Is everything telepathic except me? ---  
  
"Okay-"  
  
"So I'll be your entertainment."  
  
"Would you stop reading my mind and answering my questions before I ask them?" she burst out, but she was laughing. He laughed too.  
  
"Sorry, I guess it just comes naturally," he replied. Both quieted.  
  
"So do you know anyone who knows how to ask for a stiff, hard drink in Cantonese?" she asked. Vaughn chuckled.  
  
"Wasn't expecting that, I'll tell you," he replied. She laughed. "Hold on." She heard shuffling and muted voices. "Nope, none of the agents here speak Cantonese. But I know that in Mandarin, Pi Jiu is beer."  
  
"You speak Mandarin?" she asked, incredulously.  
  
"Enough to …" he began.  
  
"Know how to ask for a drink?" she retorted. -----Show up at the bar Vaughn. Come on, just do it and be a dashing stranger who sweeps me off my feet. ----- Sydney caught herself. -----God, I'm an idiot. -----  
  
"Well you know that's standard CIA knowledge. Where am I, how to I get to the consulate, can I have a drink, and can you get me a gun. The absolute must-know phrases for any agent," he said, putting on a decidedly silly debonair accent. She giggled.  
  
"I know some mandarin but mine isn't CIA-issued, I'm afraid. I can't believe I'm talking to you! It's been so long," she replied, not knowing what else to say.  
  
"Yeah it has. You're taking care of yourself aren't you? I still worry," he said. She laughed.  
  
"I'm good. And from what Weiss has been telling me, you've been great! A promotion!" she exclaimed. "Agent Amazing!" He chuckled on the other end, and she imagined him blushing.  
  
"Thank you," he said.  
  
"So you must definitely be the CIA's new golden boy," she pushed. She loved when he got embarrassed. He was so modest, it came way too naturally. -----I can't believe I'm talking to Vaughn. -----  
  
"Sydney…" he warned. "If you're going to do this for the next three hours, I'll find someone for you to talk to."  
  
"I'm done, I'm done," she said smiling to herself. She tucked herself more carefully into the corner. -----God I really don't want to be disturbed. ----- "I heard you are coaching a Pee Wee hockey league."   
  
"Yeah, I am actually. It's great. It's got a lot of the agent's kids in it, including Devlin's nephew and Davenport's youngest son, so they're really good about making sure I make time for it and stuff. I love it. You know there are like fifteen kids right…" he talked excitedly. She could practically hear the smile on his face. She listened as he chattered on and on about how much he loved those kids. ----- Do you know how much I love you? ----- "I wish you could meet them Syd. I just know they'd adore as much as…" he dropped of the end of his sentence.  
  
"I wish I could, too," she replied. -----Although, I guarantee that if I got the chance to do something with you, it wouldn't involve little kids and public places. ----  
  
"I'm going to rephrase that. They are going to adore you when they meet you," he said. She smiled. -----He's still the same, amazing Vaughn. -----  
  
"You haven't changed," she said. Then quickly she added, "I think that's the best compliment you could ever receive."  
  
"Thanks," he said, quietly. She knew he was blushing furiously but that wasn't the reason he had sobered.  
"Vaughn, that last day, before you left you said…" she began.  
  
"Don't Syd. I told you right? You wanted stability, truth? I gave it to you. That's all you need to know Syd, just keep going on that and know that it won't change," he said, solemnly. -----God, Vaughn, you're such a victim of circumstance. If you had said that face-to-face, those would most definitely be your last sentences for a while. -----  
"But Vaughn…" she began again.  
  
"Not now Syd. Remember, what I told you. You, me, an SD-6 takedown and a party? Then you can say whatever the hell you want about that. But not now," he said "Besides. I've just got back in my bosses' good graces. Don't take me out again," he replied. She giggled.  
  
"Okay. Whatever you say, Vaughn," she said, retreating. He sighed on the other end. -----I wonder what he's thinking. -----  
  
"What am I thinking? A lot of things, Syd," he replied. She blinked, not realizing she'd spoken out loud. -----Oh Sydney, you're just setting yourself up for disaster. You truly are the CIA's finest, most deadly, fastest and let's not forget dumbest double agent. That last part especially. -----  
  
"What?" she said, realizing he was talking. She didn't want to miss a word he said.  
  
"I said, I'm thinking a lot of things. But mostly I'm thinking of the fact that since you know everything that I've told Weiss to tell you, Weiss isn't the problem. All I know is that Weiss says you're fine, and that you miss me-which by the way goes without saying for me-but other than that? Nothing. Tell me what's going on with you, Syd. How's everyone?" he asked.   
  
"Well, Francie found out that Charlie was cheating on her and they called off the engagement…" she began. She told him every thing had been going on, about Will, about school, even about her father. They talked like they'd never stop, but time came for her to do her mission. ----- I don't think I've ever hated a mission more. -----  
  
"It was great talking to you Syd," Vaughn replied.   
  
"It was better than great," she replied.   
  
" I just want you to remember. One day, this'll all be over. And what I said to you in the warehouse? Hell, I'll put in on a banner and hang it up at our party," he said. She laughed.  
  
"You do so much for me," she said.  
  
"I'd do a lot more if I could," he replied. He was very serious and Sydney wished -----not for the first time----- that he was in front of her, just so she could show him exactly what she'd do to him.  
  
"I hope that I do the same. You know? Stability. Truth…." She faltered. "All that." Vaughn chuckled.  
  
"All that? Nice, Sydney. Literature major, and she comes up with all that," he teased.  
  
"I'm not as great at this speech thing as you are, Vaughn," she replied. He laughed, and then stopped suddenly.  
  
"I've got to go, Syd," he said.   
  
"Okay, just one last thing," she said.   
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I hope your CIA Mandarin course taught you enough," she said. "Chu le ni de yi wai, wo shen me dong xi dou bu yao. Wo jiu yao ni. Yi tian, wo ke yi huan gei ni, ni gei wo de dong xi." She let out a breath, stood up and was ready for a mission. -----I hope that's your truth, Vaughn. -----  
  
"Dixon, I'm ready."  
Okay, my mandarin isn't the greatest thing in the world but the translation should be pretty accurate except for the grammar. It means: "With the exception of you, I don't want anything. All I want it you. One day, I'll be able to give back to you all that you've given me." 


	3. 1 3

Title: Shaant  
For Disclaimer and other details, please look at previous chapters.  
Author's Note: Okay I steal some minor dialogue from the season finale and from the Getaway. For the purposes of the story, if you could just pretend there were times when they had been said earlier, it'd greatly help the story. Thanks to everyone who review. The positive feedback is amazing… and I see what other authors mean. It really does make me type faster hahaha.   
  
She never thought she'd be having this discussion with Weiss.  
  
She'd had it a million times with Vaughn, but she'd never ever thought it'd happen with Weiss.  
  
"Sydney, you have to learn to listen to someone other than yourself!" he stated. On the last mission, she'd ignored his orders and ran some risks. She'd almost been caught twice and a member of the CIA team that was there covertly had been injured. She was sorry for that but still thought it was her decision. -----I successfully completed the mission didn't I? -----  
  
"I'm sorry, Weiss, but it is hard to let someone else make my decisions for me when it's my life in the balance! And for God's sake, you weren't there, you couldn't see what I saw, feel what I felt!" Sydney shouted back. She hated when anyone questioned her judgment. She admitted that she had a problem with authority-but she'd never say those words out loud.   
  
"It's called surveillance, Sydney! Ever hear of it? And I think as the person who designs the countermission, I have the final call on whether or not we continue in a mission," Weiss retorted.  
  
"God, you people!" -----Uh oh, here comes my temper-----  
  
"You people? What do you mean you people?" Weiss asked.  
  
"You! And Vaughn!"   
  
"What does Vaughn have to do with this?" he asked. If he had been angry before, Sydney had just been scraping the surface. Weiss visibly tensed at the mention of Vaughn's name. Sydney had suspected that he resented her for getting Vaughn into one troubling situation after another, and it was obvious now.   
  
"You two are exactly the same! Always worrying about me!" she shot back.   
  
-----"Your life is complicated, Sydney! Forgive me for trying to make it any easier!"-----  
  
"Sydney-" Weiss began, but she wasn't finished.  
  
"You're always thinking that I'm so fragile, that I'm going to break!" she continued. Her voice was raised and her naturally defensive nature was all out with claws bared. ----- "I made a judgment call!" ----- "Vaughn used to do it and now you do it too! I'll be okay. I can take a few risks, and I will take those risks if it means SD-6 will come down faster. Both of you decide for me like I have no say in the matter!"  
  
"You don't have a say in the matter! You forget something. 'Us people' are your seniors, and we deserve the respect for planning out those missions. That respect should come back to us in the form of listening to us! And this time, Sydney? It didn't matter that you could take care of yourself. Because you got someone else hurt. I'm not Vaughn and I would like to assure you, I certainly don't care enough to let worry come in the way of a missio. Yes, sometimes, Vaughn would not be able to see straight because he worried, but that's not the issue. You messed up, Sydney, and there is an agent who got shot in the leg because you didn't listen to me," Eric finished. ----- Way to mix your issues Syd. He's absolutely right. -----  
  
"I'm sorry about Monroe," she said, almost inaudibly, referring to the agent who had been wounded.  
  
"He'll be okay. But there are other people you have to think about, Sydney," he said, softly. She nodded and look him straight in the eye to show him she agreed. He tensed visibly and continued. "And don't go cutting down what Vaughn did. He made decisions that not only saved you, but also saved the CIA a very important double agent. Vaughn cares about you and that does affect what he does, but he's also a very smart man who realized the dangers of every possible situation that could happen to you. I know when you think of him, you think of…" he faltered.  
  
----- Oh I can't wait to hear this. Take your best shot, Weiss. -----  
  
"Someone you care a lot of for and someone who cares for you in the same way." ----- Nice shot. ----- "But Mike was trained just like you were, and has worked longer. He knew what he was doing and so do I. So if for once you can place your trust in me, you'll see that my judgment doesn't undermine or weaken you, " he finished, fiercely. She nodded.  
  
"I do trust you," she said.   
  
"Like you trusted Mike?" he said. ----- Sorry buddy. You want me to trust you like I trusted him; love's got to be in that equation. -----  
  
"It's a different type of trust, but its still there," she replied, giving the most diplomatic answer she could find.   
  
"Yeah well trust is a tricky thing," he replied, before he could control it. Amazing, he thought. I get the chance to say it to both of them.  
  
"What does that mean?" she snapped. And they both react exactly the same way, he mused. I'd laugh out loud, if I weren't so damn angry.  
  
"Nothing. It just means… what it means. This is complicated, complicated enough. You just have to trust me," he said. She nodded.  
  
"Fine," she replied. She calmed down. "I didn't mean to say that you-and Vaughn-don't…"  
  
"I understand," he said. "By the way, he says he misses you. Per usual." She smiled.   
  
"I…" she began.  
  
"I know, I know," he said, making a face good-naturedly. He put his voice an octave higher. "I miss him too." Sydney laughed.  
  
"Yeah I do. How's that hockey league going?" she asked.   
  
"Oh just great," he said wryly. "The other day he worked on perfecting their aims with the pucks." He wasn't smiling.  
  
"Is there something wrong with that?" she asked.  
  
"Yeah. Because apparently his 'good friend Eric' was the target," he said. She laughed. "It's not funny! I've got scars. I mean, I'm CIA and the scars I've got are from a bunch of kids my dog's age!" She grinned, and prepared to leave.  
  
"I'll talk to you later," Sydney said. Weiss sobered.  
  
"Wait, Sydney," he said. She turned around. "I just… I know I screamed at you a lot today, but honestly sometimes that's the only way to get through to you. I don't mean that as an insult. And I didn't mean that I don't care whether you get hurt. I do, very much so." He seemed to be struggling.  
  
-----Weiss what the hell is going on? You going to confess to being in love with me too? ----- Sydney inwardly made a face. -----Syd, you really don't know what and what not to joke about do you? -----  
  
"You know what I said earlier? Trust is a tricky thing? I said that to Mike once, when I was on his case about his… well your relationship. And I'm regretting it now," he said. "Because I went on and on about emotional attachments and judgment impairments and all that. But here I am in the same position. Doing what Vaughn did, caring about you and wanting you to come home. It was more than just losing an agent on a mission of his for Vaughn, and I never thought it'd be like that for me Syd. I see why he did what he did. It is perfectly justified. Of course, I'm not going to fall in love with you but…" -----Oh my god, did he just say that? ----- Sydney stared at him in horror. He laughed.  
  
"I'll take it that expression is for the fact that I know, not that you're upset I'll never fall in love with you," he said. She smiled.  
  
"You know?" she asked.  
  
"He told me. And even if he hadn't I would have guessed," he said. ----- Yeah, Vaughn never really hid it. -----  
  
"He never gave me a chance to say anything. He said it and just walked out of here. And then in Hong Kong, I tried to talk to him about it but he wouldn't let me," she said.   
  
"Yeah but you managed to have some sort of say at the end didn't you?" he asked. -----Oh my god, Weiss, why the hell do you know so much? -----  
  
"What?" she asked.  
  
"My mandarin is a little less CIA issued than Vaughn's and ten times worse than both of yours, but I caught the drift. He did, too, judging by that idiotic grin on his face," Weiss explained. Sydney went red, but couldn't help smile. "Yeah you know, it looked something like that."  
  
"Shut up, Weiss. How is he?" she asked.  
  
"He's good. He's working on the SD-6 case again, but he handles the paper work and auditing of our progress and stuff. He's really proud of your work," he said. She nodded. "The promotion is doing him good. He's finally done moving into his new apartment, and he loves it. I love it too, actually." They chatted a bit before Sydney finally left.  
  
********  
  
She hurried into the warehouse and saw Weiss looking as tired as she was.  
  
----- I hope he doesn't get to sleep the rest of the week for interrupting me. ----  
  
"What is going on? I just saw you yesterday. You're great and all, Weiss, but this much social interaction must be detrimental to your health," she quipped. Weiss looked annoyed.  
  
"I'm not here for games, Syd. I know it's early in the morning, but I figured you'd want this," Weiss said, ignoring her joke and handing her a manila envelope.  
  
"What's this?" she asked.   
  
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," Weiss said.  
  
She removed a small slip of paper and a set of keys. She looked at the slip and saw an address on it. "Some CIA mission?" -----I've never had a mission in LA before. Especially not from the CIA, it's a huge risk.-----  
  
Weiss laughed. "No. Vaughn wanted me to give you this, and tell you it's secured. He didn't tell me anymore but whatever it is, he's checked in that it's okay. Of course, with the work that he's gotten done in the last couple months, he's Mr. Golden Boy so Devlin and Davenport hardly refuse him anything anymore," he muttered. " I figured I'd give it to you now, so that if you had to do something you could do it before you had to show up at SD-6." Sydney nodded. Vaughn, you're great but couldn't you be normal and send me flowers or a singing telegram? She thought  
  
. -----On second though that might not seem so great. 'I secretly love you and got fired for it. If your employer knows I know you, he'll kill us both but I just wanted to send you a guy who gets paid peanuts to sing embarrassing songs to tell you how much I miss you. From your former handler suspected of having an emotional attachment, Vaughn.' to the tune of Beautiful Dreamer? All kinds of bad. -----  
  
"Thanks, Weiss. And tell him I miss him okay?" Sydney said.  
  
"I'll be sure not to since he knows it!" Weiss replied, sarcastically. "You'd think he'd let me do this but its okay. I'll see you on Wednesday." Syd shot him a confused look as he left. A few minutes later, she followed.  
  
She got in her car and drove to the address wondering what was going on, and checking for tails carefully. The building was a low-rise apartment building. She quickly entered what the building and went to the specified floor, which was the top floor. She walked to the apartment and fished out the keys that Vaughn had sent her. Suddenly it hit her.  
  
----- What is going on? Oh my god! Is this Vaughn's house? Am I about to see Vaughn? ----- Something told her that it was quite impossible, and that Vaughn wouldn't risk her life like this.  
  
She heard a noise down the hallway and she turned and looked. A lady in her forties walked out. She looked at Sydney.  
  
"Oh, honey, Mike moved that last of his stuff out yesterday. He doesn't live here anymore. Do you want the new address?" the lady asked. Sydney smiled.  
  
"Oh no, it's okay. I'm not here to see Mike, I'm just looking at the house," she thought. ----- Did I just turn down the opportunity to see where he lives now? ----  
  
"Oh are you going to move in here?" the lady asked, seeming genuinely interested.  
  
"Maybe. I've been looking around," she lied, realizing she didn't want to come up with another reason as to why she was going to this apartment.  
  
"Well I hope you do. It'd be nice to have another neighbor. Mike was great," she said. Sydney nodded and said goodbye as the lady went down the hallway. She turned to the door and tried every single key before she realized the door wasn't locked.  
  
She walked in and looked around.  
  
----This was where Vaughn lived. He used to sleep, eat, shower, do everything in here.---- She walked around looking at the bedroom and bathroom. -----I'm finally in his house. He might not be here, but that's okay. ----- She marveled at the fact at how well he knew her. Even if he was no longer living here, this was still a place she'd want to see and he knew it. ----- Vaughn, you are quite possibly the greatest man ever. ----   
  
She walked around, just enjoying the fact that she was there. There were still old cartons and junk littering the apartment. She figured the caretaker would come take of that. She was walking past the kitchen, getting ready to leave when she saw an old pizza box in the corner. The top of it had a logo emblazoned on it that read  
  
-----Joey's Pizza? No way! It actually exits… or does it? ----- She walked towards the boy and opened it. Sure enough it was clean except for a letter that read 'From an Invisible Friend'. Giggling, she opened it.  
  
"Dear Syd,  
I always wanted you to see my apartment. Not the best circumstances, but beggars can't be choosers. I miss you a lot and have found myself wishing for every those horrible meetings where I can't look at you or face you, just so I can hear your voice. But, your safety will always come first, so I'll have to settle for letters. If you've noticed, along with this there were two keys along. One of them is to my new apartment, so that when you're done with all this (and after that party of course), you won't even need to knock to be in my life. The other key opens up a surprise for you under the sink. I miss you so much, Sydney and I just want you to keep the faith that our day will come.  
'A friend says, "If you ever need anything, I'll be there." A lover says, "You'll never need anything, I'll be there."'-Anonymous   
I'll be there."  
  
------No way this is dissolving in water. ----- She quickly looked under the sink and saw a beautiful, antique jewelry chest-like object, about a foot wide. It was a copper colored, tarnished enough to make it looked distinguished but authentic. She took the key and turned the lock on it and saw another note inside.   
  
"Happy Birthday, two weeks in advance. Lift up the bottom for your second birthday present."  
  
She did as the note said; smiling wider, wondering what Vaughn had planned. ----- When he's my handler, he gets me a Christmas present. When I haven't even seen him in months, he gets me a birthday gift. I don't deserve him. ----- She lifted what turned out to a false bottom, ----- how perfect for a spy----- and pulled out a few papers that looked like official documents. She read them and gasped. -----I was right about that official part. -----   
  
The last line of the last page read as following:  
"Agents Heading Operation:   
From Headquarters: Dir. Devlin, Assistant Dir. Davenport  
On Site: Senior Agent Vaughn and Agent Weiss  
Agents Bristow (Sydney A., and Jack D.) to maintain cover.  
Operation to take over SD-6 (simultaneous with all Alliance Cells) to commence 1100 hours on April 17th."  
  
-----Happy Birthday to me. -----  
  
Author's note 2: And I know after this chapter, for those of you who read Notification Posted, it seems like I'm obsessed with letters and notes but I'm really not. I just needed to have a good S/V moment in here aside from the Weiss/ Syd scene, and I think if Sydney and Vaughn actually saw each other before my big ending it'd spoil the sentiment a bit so I had to figure out a way that there could be sweetness without them seeing each other. We did the phone/ comm. thing sooo… what can I say? I'm creative but not that creative I guess. As for the pizza place, I figured it is possible it actually existed but they wouldn't keep that as a call signal because it'd be easy to get that confused. Also the titles and all that… totally made up sorry if it's really stupid. The end that I'm planning is really, I don't know, special I guess so I'm putting a lot of effort into it. 


	4. 1 4

Title: Shaant  
Author: Annie  
Rating: G  
Timeline: Sometimes after "the Coup" but no real knowledge necessary. Just vague references. Anytime in Season One, I suppose.  
Summary: "If she wasn't going to fight for love, then what were her grounds for wanting Vaughn in her life?" Sydney realizes some things are for secure, no matter what. S/V  
Disclaimer: I seriously own nothing. Like seriously. You wouldn't believe.  
Distribution: I'd be more than honored to have this anywhere. Just drop me a note.  
Genre: Drama/ Romance It's not angst-y, but it's not fluff, I guess.  
Author's Note: okay I made Sydney a few years older than she actually is, just for the purpose of significance. And I know Francie doesn't have a restaurant until second season, but I mean, as I say in the story, 9 months has passed since the first chapter, so just pretend certain things remained the same. And I know there's not much S/Vness in the beginning but more chapters are soon to follow so don't worry .This one was just Sydney dealing with what is going to happen... or what is not going to happen. okay I know that this last part has been promised for a while, and I swear it will be up within the next few days. until then... it's time for the actual Season Finale, which I can't wait for. okay that's it for now. a short, not so s/v chapter, but it's all good. The next chapter will make up for it I promise.  
  
Previously:  
The last line of the last page read as following:  
"Agents Heading Operation:   
From Headquarters: Dir. Devlin, Assistant Dir. Davenport  
On Site: Senior Agent Vaughn and Agent Weiss  
Agents Bristow (Sydney A., and Jack D.) to maintain cover.  
Operation to take over SD-6 (simultaneous with all Alliance Cells) to commence 1100 hours on April 17th."  
  
-----Happy Birthday to me. -----  
Chapter Four:  
She woke up on her thirtieth birthday wondering if life could get more symbolic. Turning thirty was a big deal, she thought, lying in her bed, eyes not yet open. She remembered the threshold between twenty-nine and thirty in The Great Gatsby, the difference between carefreeness and love and hurt and consequence. -----I remember that Friends episode where they all turn thirty. Should I be pulling a Joey and crying like a baby?------- The idea of throwing a temper tantrum, even if it was against a force as unstoppable as time, seemed strangely appealing.  
------ Welcome to phase two of your life: on this trip, we have personalized it for you, Sydney Bristow. Most women hit marriage and motherhood, but specially for you, this phase is a one-way ride to lonely menopause, barren and resembling an old maid.----- Or at least, that would be what she was thinking if not for the best birthday present she could ever receive. According to the incessant beeping that she had halted a few minutes ago, it would be approximately 6:15 in the morning, leaving her five hours to ponder what could perhaps turn out to be the best day of her life. Or the worst day, ending with all her hopes crashing down. She could be found out as a double today. She could have to go into Witness Protection, and never see Dixon, or Marshal, or Francie and Will, or Weiss, or her father... or Vaughn. Well she hadn't seen Vaughn for nine months now, but if she left there would be no way that he could risk the little contact they had now.   
So this day could turn into the day all her hopes came crashing down, or where she was finally set free. But technically didn't every day of her life carry that risk? ----- Five hours of this? I just want this day to be over.----- It was funny, she'd always enjoyed her birthdays before, she'd never wanted them to end. She usually managed to get the day off from SD-6, and in the recent years she'd gotten off from the CIA too. When she was younger, they were horrible days of barren silence with her dad, but once she'd gone to college it had been great. The first year she'd known Francie, she'd gotten a huge surprise party and ever since then she'd spent it with friends or Danny -----Danny-----. But today? She needed the closure that came with knowing the day was either a success or a failure. She could deal with whatever was thrown at her, but it was that not knowing that was driving her crazy. She finally opened her eyes.  
----- Yes, your thirtieth birthday is a huge deal.----- It had to be, judging from the amount of balloons and banners that hung in her room. -----If only Will and Francie knew how big a deal mine is.----- She sat up and swung her legs over the side, only to step on a loud horn of some sort, that scared her half out of her wits.  
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" -----There go the other half.----- Francie and Will burst into her room. They shouted congratulations and salutations at her until she finally let them lead her into the kitchen.  
"You have to go to work today right?" Francie asked, but she was smiling. ----- Today might just be my last day, Fran.-----   
"Yeah. What's that they say about no rest for the wicked?" she replied. Will laughed.  
"Well we figured as much, so we have a birthday breakfast," Francie said, unveiling the meal. Sydney laughed. Heaped in the table was orange juice and coffee poured into plastic cups that read "happy birthday". The forks and knives and spoons, too, were party cutlery, and each plastic plate had a birthday hat sitting on it. Best were the pancakes, which had candles stuck into the top.  
"You guys, this is too much!" she said. ----- Hopefully, I'll be able to do this for you guys soon.----- The three sat down to breakfast, happily laughing and reminscing old times. A comfortable silence settled over the table, until Francie broke it.   
"You know, I know it's your birthday and all, Syd, but there's something I've been meaning to ask you," Francie said. Sydney looked up, eyes questioning and mouth full. "What ever happened to picture frame guy?" ----- aggh aggh aghh.----- Syndey choked. Will handed her a birthday cup full of juice and she took a long sip, thankfully, and gave her self time to breath and formulate an answer.  
"What do you mean?" Sydney said. ----- Damn it. Why do I have to bluch at the drop of a hat?-----  
"Look at you, going all scarlet. Whatever happened to that guy?" Francie asked. -----What didn't happen to that guy?-----  
"I don't really see him anymore. We kind of keep in touch through a mutual friend, but we haven't seen each other in ages," Sydney said, diplomatically.  
"Nothing happened?" Francie asked. ----- Uhh....-----  
"Nothing. What'd you think would happen?" ----- Dammit Sydney. Just let it be!-----  
"I don't know. It seemed like that gift was extra-special." ----- Not as special as this one.----- "And I don't know. You liked it a lot. I don't know. I just got a feeling," Francie said, shrugging. ----- Should have been a spy, Fran, you should have been a spy.----- "Is he hot?" ----- Aghh aghh aghh. Damn my unfunctioning esophagus.----- Sydney recovered quickly this time, no juice neccessary.  
"Is he hot?" Sydney repeated. Francie nodded hungrily. "Yeah... he is. He's hot. Really hot, actually." ----- Motor mouth much?-----  
"Oh yeah? You think you will ever seen him again?" Francie asked. Will watched hungrily, wondering who this mystery man in Sydney's-- or not in Sydney's life-- was. Sydney decided to inject some truth into the web of lies she fed her friends.  
"Well actually, I have this... conference of sorts today, and if it goes well... Well this takeover will mean that I get to see him again, because he switched divisions a while ago, and I stuck with..." Sydney trailed off as Francie looked at her blandly and Will feigned sleep. "Fine. You asked you know."  
"I'm sorry Syd. I'd listen if I understood a word," Will replied.   
"And on my birthday too!" she cried, mockingly. Will laughed and checked his watch.  
"Sorry. I'll make it up to you later. But right now, I have to go. It's 7:30, and I have an interview at 8:15," Will said, kissing her cheek. He grabbed his coat and hurried out the door.  
"Me, too, Syd! I have to open the restaurant early for a health inspection. Sorry," Francie said, apoligizingly. Sydney shrugged.   
"Don't worry about it .I have to be at work by 8:30, anyway," she said. Francie nodded and kissed her on her cheek. Wishing her once more, she hurried out the door. Sydney sighed, realizing that now, her day ----- Multitask Day: Take Down SD-6 and Turn Thirty----- had truly begun. Her father had arranged the cover that both of them would be out on some bogus mission he concocted, in order for both of them to retain the cover. She'd sit in a van, outside the Credit Dauphine building, while CIA officers finished up the job she'd been pursuing for two years... given that everything went right. She went to take a shower, and an hour she found herself in the CIA Operations Center. She had hoped to see Vaughn but she passed his office and he was nowhere to be found. Weiss quickly found her outside his door and told her Vaughn was already on site, preparing for the raid. She breathed deeply ----- I could see him in five hours----- and followed Weiss to the main area.  
"You ready for this?" Weiss asked. Sydney looked at him wryly.  
"Please. I've been ready for this since the day I walked in to the CIA," she said. She laughed and looked up at him. "Did Vaughn ever tell you I thought I'd bring down SD-6 in two months?"   
"Yeah he did," Weiss said. ----- Well now I know why Weiss sometimes looks at me like I'm mentally deficit.----- "I laughed like... like I shouldn't have laughed, but it was funny. Like honestly, it was just really naive and... I'm just digging a deeper hole."   
"Yeah, way to catch on," Sydney said, fighting the smile on her face.  
"Well look at it this way. If it had taken two months, you would have been out of here and you'd never have gotten to know Vaughn as well as you have," Weiss conjectured. Sydney shrugged. She wanted to hug him for the use of present tense only, but she settled for a smile. He wasn't done. "And you would have never gotten so close, and he would have never gotten fired and I would have never become your handler. And then you would have never know me, which is a tragedy totally and utterly." Sydney's smile grew. He still wasn't done. "And of course, Vaughn would have never started that hockey league which means I would have never gotten those scars. And then I'd never have picked up that chick at the bar the other night, and then I'd never have gotten so--"   
"Please stop. I understand. There's an upside to all this. I get it," Sydney said. Weiss laughed.  
"I could have stopped at the first sentence, but that would just not have been me would it?" he retorted .She grinned. The smile from Weiss's face dropped quickly and he nodded behind her. She turned and saw her father coming.   
"They're going to load the vans now. We'll be sitting in the one with audio and video surveilance so we can see what is going on," Jack said, stoicly. Sydney nodded.   
"I'll give you two a few minutes," Weiss said, excusing himself. "See you downstairs." Jack turned to Sydney.  
----- Uh oh. Can't wait to hear this.-----  
"I've been doing this a long time," he said, solemnly. Sydney nodded. "And I've wanted it to end a countless number of times." She gazed up at him, resembling the little girl that had doted on her father before everything came between them and made them more similar than ever-- betrayed, determined to right it, stubborn... vulnerable. He continued. "But nothing will make it as worthwhile as knowing that I've changed it for you. All I need is for you to be out of this life, to be happy." Sydney drew a reference to Vaughn-- both were men who somehow, always got the right meaning across with a few words.  
"I couldn't have gotten through without you," Sydney replied. She hoped he recognized the significance of her words, saying she couldn't have gotten through rather than done the job. His curt nod gave away nothing, but the softening of his stern gaze and the almost nostalgic twinkle in his eye showed her that he had understood.  
"If at the end of the day this doesn't come through," he said. Alarm bells sounded off in Sydney's head now that someone had voiced the thoughts that had run through her head for the past two weeks. "Then, just know that the one good thing to come out of that will be that more than ever, I will be your father Sydney. And we will do this together." She nodded, her eyes tearing up. He continued. "I'll do my best on my part, to make sure that happens in either outcome." The tears fell. ----- 8:30 am and I'm already crying.----- Her father wasn't done however.  
"You've lost a lot of people Sydney. Your mother, me, Danny, your mother and me once again, Emily, Vaughn" Sydney's head snapped up. -----Whoa. Did he just say....?----- "and I hope that by the end of the day, you have two of us back," he said, looking her straight in the eye. The tears fell more rapidly, but a slow smile formed, redrawing their path, so thath the tears spilled over the apples of her cheeks, rather than dripping down the angle of her chin. "Know that no matter what, you'll have one of us." Sydney nodded, and slowly, tentatively embraced her father. He kissed her hair almost impercetibly, and pulled away.  
"This is it," she said. He nodded, gave a brief, hopeful smile, took her hand and led her into the basement. 


	5. 1 5

Title: Shaant  
Author: Annie  
Rating: G  
Timeline: Sometimes after "the Coup" but no real knowledge necessary. Just vague references. Anytime in Season One, I suppose.  
Summary: "If she wasn't going to fight for love, then what were her grounds for wanting Vaughn in her life?" Sydney realizes some things are for secure, no matter what. S/V  
Disclaimer: I seriously own nothing. Like seriously. You wouldn't believe.  
Distribution: I'd be more than honored to have this anywhere. Just drop me a note.  
Genre: Drama/ Romance It's not angst-y, but it's not fluff, I guess.  
Author's Note: Okay, I'm evil and I like this story so much that I keep finding stuff to add. This chapter is actually pretty long so don't kill me. By the end, I think you will want to.  
  
Previously:  
"You've lost a lot of people Sydney. Your mother, me, Danny, your mother and me once again, Emily, Vaughn" Sydney's head snapped up. -----Whoa. Did he just say....?----- "and I hope that by the end of the day, you have two of us back," he said, looking her straight in the eye. The tears fell more rapidly, but a slow smile formed, redrawing their path, so thath the tears spilled over the apples of her cheeks, rather than dripping down the angle of her chin. "Know that no matter what, you'll have one of us." Sydney nodded, and slowly, tentatively embraced her father. He kissed her hair almost impercetibly, and pulled away.  
  
"This is it," she said. He nodded, gave a brief, hopeful smile, took her hand and led her into the basement.  
  
**********  
  
She remained calm until 12:30. They had been sitting a few blocks away from SD-6 for about three hours, and the operation had commenced earlier than expected. The raid was approximately an hour away from wrapping up. Sloane had already been transfered to a holding cell, as had other members of SD-6 who had known the truth, awaiting further questioning. Marshall and Dixon, as well as some of her other associates, ahd been taken into protective custody for debriefing. Vaughn had actually directed the whole thing, managing all aspects. She had spend the past few hours listening to his soothing voice, call out commands and execute plans that would ultimately lead to her freedom. Her father sat next to her, listening along. Occasionally he would take her hand and squeeze it briefly. ----- He reminds me more than ever of Vaughn.----- Finally, as Sloane's arrest culminated, he took her hand and they both clung to each other, if only to keep from bursting out of the van. That had been an hour ago, and Jack Bristow still had his hand tightly clutching to his little girl's.   
  
This was how he noticed when she was startled and 12:30. They had been listening into the CIA frequency, when all of a sudden Vaughn had surprised them.  
  
"Base Ops, this is Boy Scout."  
  
"Come in, Boy Scout."  
  
"I'm signing off and handing control to Billy Bob." Sydney recognized Weiss' ridiculuous call sign. ----- Why is Vaughn giving control to Weiss?-----  
  
"Copy that, Boy Scout. But one minute. Why exactly are leaving?" ----- Yeah come on Vaughn. Give me a reason not to freak out that you're not going to be here anymore.-----  
  
"I have some loose ends to wrap up. Plus come on. There's practically nothing left. Even Weiss can't screw this up." Sydney laughed. To her surprise, Jack cracked a smile.  
  
"Hey. You know I can hear this," Weiss voice came on. ----- No one can give it to Weiss like Vaughn can.-----Sydney could hear Vaughn laughing.   
  
"Hey Base Ops, are the Bristows with you?" The officer monitoring the video and audio surveilance-- Agent Jeffries-- grunted a yes. "Can they hear me?"  
  
"Yeah they can," Jeffries replied, sounding slightly wary. He emphasized the "they" for only Vaughn to hear, but both Bristows caught it. Jack shot Sydney a wryly amused look, and Sydney looked away, blushing.  
  
"Congratulations, you two. You more than deserve it," Vaughn's voice said, more sincere than she had ever heard it. His tone was soft, caressing like she'd heard it many times. It was full of a respect that she realized was not only for her father, but her as well. She looked at Jack, who had a thin, content smile on her face and realized that was the first time she had ever seen him look like this. Vaughn's final words caught her by surprise as he switched off his comm. link. "You're free."  
  
And just like that she realized she was.   
  
*****  
To her disappointment, Vaughn was nowhere to be found when she was finally allowed to enter the Credit Dauphine building, at about 2 pm. She walked around the ruins, feeling bad for calling them that bit realizing that was indeed what they were. There were bullet holes, that crumbled several walls. Many desks were overturned, and dust and the smell of freshly fired bullets still burnt the air. File cabinets had been emptied and overturned, and she spotted her old desk. She reached into the fourth drawer, pulled out the false bottom and extracted a picture frame. All the other contents of the desk would be awaiting her on her CIA desk. She turned the picture frame and smiled at a 6-year-old Sydney sitting on her father's shoulders. She broke into a grin and reached into her pocket. She extracted her SD-6 phone, dropped it on the ground and stepped on it. She was free.  
  
She stepped out of the building, and taking a deep breath, slid into the car her father was driving. They reached the garage of the CIA Operations center and she stepped, grinning widely at her father. ----Vaughn, you better be here.----- She walked in to be barraged by a number of people shouting congratulations at her and her father, shaking their hands. Weiss even went so far as to pull her up into a huge hug, one she returned gladly especially after he whispered, "Bristow, you're fired. Or I'm fired. Either way works out." Davenport, Devlin, and Kendall, a new guy who had become Deputy Director, congratulated her as well. They pulled her away from the crowd, and her father followed.   
  
"We understand that your thoughts on continuing with the Agency may be conflicting at this point in time," Kendall said. Sydney nodded. "So we would like to offer you a week to consider your options. We cannot stress enough the value of an agent as strong as you are. In addition to that strength, you have good working relationships with your father and Agent Weiss, and obviously share a good comraderie with Agent Vaughn, who I can say will probably get the chance to work with you again." ----- Is Kendall bribing me with Vaughn? This day cannot get any weirder.----- "Plus the added bonus of the fact that you've worked with several former SD-6 agents. Upon their recruitment to the CIA, you would be able to help them settle in. So as you can see, our motives for keeping you here are plentiful. Hopefully, you consider all apsects of this decision carefully over the next week on your vacation," Kendall finished.  
  
"Vacation?" Sydney said, incredulously. ----- They really are going all out.-----   
  
"Yes. A full, week-long, paid vacation. Happy birthday, Agent Bristow," Devlin said. His words were kind, but his tone still remained bland and professional. Sydney suddenly wished Vaughn was giving her the good news, along with one of his universal remedy smiles. Devlin, Kendall and Davenport all turned and walked back into his office.  
  
"Happy birthday, sweetheart," her father said. He kissed her quickly on the cheek, and then he disappeared behind the other men. Sydney's eyebrows finally came down from her hairline and she sighed. ----- What a birthday.----- Once the congratulations had stopped, Weiss offered to show her around all the parts of the Operation Center that she'd never seen and she happily agreed. Her motive was two-fold. Along with finally having the time to look at the agency, she'd worked for the past two year, she was also hoping Vaughn would be tucked into one of the corners.  
  
"And this is my cubicle-type office thing. That is Vaughn's... well Vaughn's office. I'm not special enough, apparently," Weiss said, making a face. Sydney laughed. "I get nothing. I don't get promoted, I don't get the girl, hell I don't even get real scars." He pouted. Sydney laughed.  
  
"You don't get fired," she offered. Weiss cracked a smile that droped a milisecond later.  
  
"Yes, because Vaughn's new job is so harsh to him. I would never trade places with a guy who is in all our bosses' good books, despite having broken protocol, and be able to have free time, a raise and a gigantic new apartment," Weiss said. Sydney laughed again.  
  
"Y'know, some people have to give up smoking. But you, you have to give up sarcasm, Weiss. I mean, even on the day of the takedown AND my birthday," she said. Weiss laughed.  
  
"Yeah the big 3-0. How does it feel? No longer a youngin', you get to join us oldies at the after-hours elderly home now," he quipped. Sydney grinned. Weiss suddenly reached into his drawer and pulled something out. "And this is for you. Happy birthday." Sydney took the small package and grinned. She hugged Weiss.  
  
"Thank you. You didn't have to," Sydney replied. ----- How great can a birthday get? And how many great handlers are there, because I certainly got two of them-----  
  
"I know. Open it," Weiss replied, grinning. Sydney unwrapped the package and held the yo-yo in her hand, grinning from ear to ear.  
  
"This is... perfection," Sydney said. Weiss laughed. Sydney grew serious and she fidgeted. "Weiss, where is Vaughn?"  
  
"I knew that was coming," Weiss said. Sydney smiled and blushed. "I don't know. He asked to leave by 12:30 when this op was being planned, and never told anyone where he was going." He saw her face fall, and put a hand on her shoulder. "He's not an idiot, Sydney. Kendall practically told him that it was okay he could see you. It was... odd. Vaughn's not going to miss out on this for no reason. He'll show up." She nodded.  
  
"I'm going to go home. See my friends, celebrate my 30th birthday, and the fact that.. well I'm done with being a double agent," she siad, attempting to lighten the mood.  
  
"You deserve it so much, Syd," Weiss said. They grinned at each other and exchanged a hug, before she went home.  
  
Sydney got home to discover a note lying on the kitchen.   
  
"Syd. Call me when you get this note-- Fran." She did as the note told and called Francie. She looked at the window and was surprised to see nightfall approaching rapidly. She looked at the clock hanging in the kitchen, and saw that it was a little past 6:30 already.  
  
"Hello?"  
"Fran, it's me," Sydney replied. She could hear scuttle in the background and wondered what was going on. "Where are you, Francie?"  
  
"I'm at the restaurant! Come here now!" Francie said.   
  
"Fran, I've had the world's longest day. Can't you and Will just come home and we can celebrate my birthday in peace?" Sydney said, wearily.  
  
"Well okay, Syd, I didn't want to tell you this. But we've organized a small... celebration of your birthday at the restaurant. Please come!" Francie begged.  
  
"Fran... you didn't have to do that," she said.  
  
"Please just come Sydney!" Francie pleaded. Sydney relented. ----- God wait until she finds out I have a week off.-----  
  
"Okay. I'll be there in twenty minutes," she said. It was on her way to restaurant while she was driving that the thought of calling Vaughn on his cell phone finally struck her. She didn't have to worry about putting him in danger anymore. But something stopped her. She hadn't talked to him since Hong Kong, and she couldn't forget that Vaughn was well aware of the promises he had made before he'd left. Pride wouldn't let her call him, but something more stopped her. Fear of the fact that now that she was free, she wouldn't be allowed to have what she wanted the most. For nine, long hard months, she'd lived without seeing Michael Vaughn's beautiful face and heartstopping smile. And now, she finally had the chance to, and that face had vanished. ----- SD-6 may be gone, but lonely menopause is still an option.-----  
She drummed her nails, and shook herself a bit, resolving to take her mind off Vaughn. It was her birthday, hell it was her day, and nothing----- not even the absense of perhaps the most important person in all of this----- was going to take that away. ----- So what's this little get together Francie suddenly organized?----- She had changed into black jeans and a turtleneck tank top and she regretted not bringing a jacket as she stepped out of the car in the restaurant's car park. It might have been April but a chilly wind still blew. She slammed the door of the car and entered the restaurant as covertly as possible. Either the thirty or so people inside had been watching the door like hawks-- and she suspected that was it-- or her spy skills had flown out the window the minute SD-6 had been brought down, because she was greeted by sixty eyes, thirty smiles and a deafening  
  
"Happy Birthday, Sydney!" before she had even closed the door to the restaurant behind her.  
  
"You guys, this is so great! Thank you so much," she said, grinning.  
  
"Well, it's not every year you turn 30. Thank god," Will said. Everyone laughed, and soon the crowd dispersed into little groups while Syd wen taround thanking everyone for coming. She caught Francie's eye several times but both were too busy. She talked with Will and a few of his reporters friends talked, but Sydney was restless and she looked around at the other guests, wondering how Francie arranged this.  
  
She grinned, making eye contact with some people she knew, but the smile slowly faded as she spied something in the corner.   
  
Not something.  
  
-----Someone.------  
  
Everything flew out of her mind at that point of time. She forgot that about the party. She forgot that she had just taken down SD-6 and the Alliance that afternoon. She forgot it was her birthday. All she could think was that after 9 excruciating months, the moment she had waited for so long had finally come. She was free, and she was looking right at Michael Vaughn in public, for the first time. Her gaze was unwavering, full of unadulterated emotion. She took in the sight of him ----- which has never disappointed me before-----. His hair was sexily tousled, less orderly (if it ever was even a bit orderly) than when she used to see him at work. It was slightly shorter, giving it a spikier look. The rest of him looked, the same, just as good as ever. His lips had curved into a deliciously sexy smile, with no teeth, just a smug upturn into what almost seemed like a smirk. ----- I'll wipe that smirk of him, if it's the last think I have to do.----- He was dressed in a light, thin deep blue sweater and wore deep blue jeans underneath. She finally met his eyes, and she noticed they were shining like she'd never seen them before. Even in the dim light, all the way across the restaurant, she could see the green glint. She broke into a huge smile, and he returned it by flashing that heart-skipping lopsided grin of his. She began to make her way toward him, when she was pulled in the opposite direction. She turned around to see Francie attached to her arm.   
  
"Francie..." she trailed, off wondering how she was going to explain him. ----- How the hell had HE explained him?-----   
  
"If I let you go to him, I'm not going to be able to disturb you two and talk to you the rest of the night. And maybe even tomorrow morning," Francie said. Sydney blushed. ----- Leave it to Francie to get straight to the point.----- "So this is photo-frame guy. Michael Vaughn. Michael." They both turned to look at Vaughn, who upon seeing Sydney being held up with Francie had started a conversation with Amy Tippin and her boyfriend.   
  
"Yeah. That's... Vaughn," she said, before she could catch her mistake.  
  
"That is what you call him? Vaughn? Kind of sexy in a police-ish kind of way," Francie replied. They both exchanged a look and giggled.  
  
"I don't know. It just became Vaughn. Never Michael. Or Mike," she said. ----- I wonder why that is.-----  
  
"But he calls you Syd. Like we do. I mean, it sounds a lot nicer coming from him but..." Francie said. They both giggled again, and Sydney got the pleasant feeling that despite the crimson color of her face, this would be one of the best conversations she and Francie had ever had. It'd be the most truthful conversation they'd had in nine years, which on its own would rank it up there. But the fact that she was talking about Vaughn-- explaining Vaughn-- would just be a dream come true.  
  
"Yeah I don't know. Vaughn works. Bristow really, really doesn't," Sydney said. ----- 'Bristow' never was Vaughn's style.-----  
  
"Honey, from that mouth... anything works. More than anything. Everything works," Francie said. She hadn't taken her eyes off Vaughn while speaking about him and Syd began to wonder if that ravenous look meant competition. She started at Francie, staring at Vaughn, and was absolutely astounded that Vaughn didn't burst into flames. Francie's look was more than just friendly admiration.  
  
"Francie... Fran!" she said. Francie jumped and finally turned to Sydney sheepishly. "Like what you see?" Francie laughed.  
  
"I think it's impossible not to. And I've got to say, he made a pretty amazing first impression," she replied.  
  
"Yeah about that. What exactly... was that impression?" Sydney said, unsurely. She didn't know what kind of cover story Vaughn had conconcted, and she didn't want to have to explain mismatching reasons.  
  
"What do you mean?" Francie asked. ----- Uhh... Think Sydney, think. There's a lot of truth to this situation.-----  
  
"Well I mean, how is he here at the party? How did you know to invite him? I haven't seen him for practically a year, but he's here. How'd you get a hold of him?" Sydney asked, keeping her questions vague enough. Francie looked at her strangely, and then suddenly her smile grew and her expression changed to one of utter joy. She giggled. "What?"  
  
"God, Sydney you do work too hard. To let someone like that... and I mean, he's so open about it," Francie said, mystically.  
  
"Fran, what are you talking about?" she said. Francie glanced over at Vaughn, like she had been doing through their conversation. She smiled knowingly, letting her gaze settle on him before turning and looking Sydney in the eye.  
  
"Okay, let's start at the beginning. We had just finished lunch rush hour, when this gorgeous guy comes in through the door. Instead of waiting to be seated, he comes straight up to the bar where I'm at and says, 'You're Francie Calfo, right?' And I say yes, and look at him strangely. He goes 'I'm Michael Vaughn. I work, well I used to work, with Syd.' And the minute he said that, somehow I just knew. Maybe it was the way he said it, or the way he was smiling or something, but I just knew this guy was totally what you'd been holding out for all these years. Mysterious picture frame guy. I just knew it," Francie said. Sydney shot her a skeptical look and giggled.  
  
"Fran, I told you this morning that 'picture frame guy' used to work with me. That's a pretty big clue right there," Sydney said. Francie shrugged, nonchalantly.  
  
"You know me, Syd. Cute guy and all rational thoughts fly out the window," Francie said, matter-of-factly. Sydney grinned.  
  
"Anyway, so he's introduced himself, and I'm thinking, 'Oh my god, Sydney's hot picture frame guy is standing in front of me. And me being me, instead of saying nice to meet you or even Syd's told me a lot about you, I go 'Sydney told me you guys haven't seen each other for nine months. What are you doing here?" Francie said, shaking her head ruefully. Sydney gasped and laughed.  
  
"You're right about those rational throughts flying out the window," Sydney said. Francie shot her a mock glare before continuing.  
  
"Well anyway, he just laughed and went 'Well yeah I guess I have some explaining to do'," Francie said. Sydney waited for her to continue but she didn't.  
  
"And?" she pressed. Francie looked at her.  
  
"And what?" she replied.   
  
"What did he say?" Sydney said. Francie shrugged.  
  
"Well, he explained." ----- Oh my god, save me now.----  
  
"What did he explain, Francie?"  
  
"What he was doing here, obviously."  
  
"Which was..." Sydney said, getting frustrated. She looked over at Vaughn, who was still talking to Amy and her boyfriend. ----- We've been in the same room for over ten minutes after nine months, and I haven't even gotten within ten feet of him.----- She turned back to Francie to see her smirking. "What was he doing here Francie?" Francie's smirk flew into a grin.  
  
"So he explains that he used to work with you, until about nine months ago. He said you guys hadn't seen each other in about nine months, but that you had kept up with what was going on. Sometime ago, it had been mentioned that I had opened this restaurant and he looked up where it is. He said that there was some sort of take over where you businesses would merge together and you two had made plans to meet up. Which you never told me," Francie said, accusingly.  
  
"I did! This morning! I told you there was a conference and I might get to see him it it went right!" Sydney protested.   
  
"You didn't tell me you made plans!" Francie shot back. Sydney faltered.  
  
"I.. I didn't know how today was going to go at all. And yeah we talked about meeting up if... our divisions ever wound up merging, but that was so long ago..." Sydney said. Francie gave her a wry smile.  
  
"I understand. Well I kind of don't but the important thing is he's here. Which is why I'm going to continue my story. So he talked about how you two were supposed to meet up today, and he said that well he'd had some thing planned out. And then-- this is my favorite part--," she said, and annuciated her next words. "He asks me whether he can reserve the restaurant. The whole restaurant. For tonight. And he takes out this wad of cash saying, 'Don't get the wrong impression about the money. I just know that to close your restaurant for a whole night means you lose a lot of revenue, so some of this is for that. You'll also have to do some of the things I can't, and this is for that.' He then asks me if I can cater, organize a guest list and host a party. Tonight. All expenses paid by him. For your birthday. Sydney, this is all him. He had everything planned to last detail. The location, the guest list, the food, that was me. The thought-- all him." Francie's smile widened and Sydney let her gaze rest on Vaughn. He was talking animatedly to Amy's boyfriend, his hands moving all over the place, face alight with enthusiasm and eyes calm with relaxation. He had never looked better.   
  
"He did all this?" she asked. Francie nodded, enjoying her friend's shock. "I should have known. It's not the first time." Francie's eyebrows shot up.  
  
"It's not?" she asked. Sydney turned around, with a wide eyed stare.   
  
"Um, well, you saw that gift. It was beautiful," Sydney said. Francie nodded. ----- Vaughn deserves credit for more than just the picture frame.----- "And I told you that he and I kept in contact through a mutual friend, and he... I don't know. He always was just so good about it and..." she trailed off and looked at him.  
  
"You know, I've seen that same look on someone else today too," Francie said, slyly. Sydney simply smiled and turned to look at Vaughn again. "Look at you, Sydney. This is a big deal isn't it? This guy's... special. I mean, you keep in contact for nine months, he gives you great presents and he throws you a birthday bash? This guy better be special."  
  
----- Francie, you don't know how special.-----  
  
"He is, Fran. God, he is," she said, sighing contentedly. Francie scrutinized.  
  
"Are you sure you haven't seen him in nine months?"  
  
"Of course! Why would I lie about that?" Sydney asked. She didn't want to mention the various ways Vaughn had come up with to communicate with her.  
  
"You just... I don't know. It's hard to describe. But Sydney, you're practically glowing. At the fact that you get to see this guy. This doesn't happen with anyone. It happens.. like once in your lifetime, Syd. You haven't seen him in nine months and you look like the happiest girl in the world," Francie said. ----- Why does she sound so worried?-----  
  
"Haven't you heard? Distance makes the heart fonder," she quipped. Francie smiled briefly.  
  
"I'm serious. I know you said he's special. And I mean, I'm sure he is. But the way you are tonight... Syd. Do you realize how special he is? The fact that you haven't seen each other for nine months, that you haven't dated anyone in those nine months and even before, and this party... Syd, this isn't just a good guy," Francie pressed on. Sydney tore her gaze away from Vaughn.  
  
"No, this isn't. He's so much more," Sydney said. It was on the tip of her tongue. It'd be so easy to say the words that had been running through her head for the past nine months to Francie. ----- I love him, Fran.-----  
  
"You know that," Francie said, making sure. Sydney looked at her amusedly.  
  
"Yeah, I do. Boy, talk about good first impressions," she quipped. Francie laughed.  
  
"You should have seen me when he walked in. He comes up and asks for me, and I'm just like. my prayers have been answered. I've been sent a sex god. Turns out I was the wrong roommate," Francie said, wryly. Sydney laughed, then grew serious.  
  
"Don't worry. Things... changed today. I know exactly how special he is," she said. Francie grinned.  
  
"Okay, well I think it's about time the guest of honor met the actual host of the party," she said, and gave Sydney a slight push in Vaughn's direction.  
  
Author's Note 2: Okay don't kill me. But as I said, when I wrote the first chapter, there was just something that I liked about the way it was written. And since I've been building upto it, Syd & Vaughn's reunion has gotta be forty times more special. So, I just need to get everything right. Don't kill me for the lack of S/Vness... I mean that last conversation with Syd & Fran was pretty chock full it yeah?... well all I can say is thank you for reading, and stay tuned. 


	6. 1 6

Title: Shaant  
  
Author: Annie  
  
Rating: G  
  
Timeline: Sometimes after "the Coup" but no real knowledge necessary. Just vague references. Anytime in Season One, I suppose.  
  
Summary: "If she wasn't going to fight for love, then what were her grounds for wanting Vaughn in her life?" Sydney realizes some things are for secure, no matter what. S/V  
  
Disclaimer: I seriously own nothing. Like seriously. You wouldn't believe.  
  
Distribution: I'd be more than honored to have this anywhere. Just drop me a note.  
  
Genre: Drama/ Romance It's not angst-y, but it's not fluff, I guess.  
  
Author's Note: I suppose this is PG. But nothing big. Just a nice... kiss. (I hear you all cheer... but it could be between someone else! Not neccessarily Syd and Vaughn!) So anyway... this is it. The final Syd and Vaughn reunion... no more delays. I hope it's worth the time is as special as I hoped it'd be. Enjoy!  
  
********************  
  
"Okay, well I think it's about time the guest of honor met the actual host of the party," she said, and gave Sydney a slight push in Vaughn's direction.  
  
***************  
  
She looked at space between her and Vaughn-- almost the entire restaurant and a majority of its guests seperated them. All of a sudden she felt weak and weary, and it hit her that she'd had the world's longest day. She suddenly got the feeling she wouldn't make it all the way across the restaurant-- and the more irrational, frightening feeling, that now they'd crossed all their bridges, space would still keep Vaughn away from her.  
  
----- Come on, Syd. He's right there for the taking.-----   
  
She slowly stepped forward, approaching him from behind. He was talking to someone and he looked fresh, relaxed. She wondered what she was going to say to him, and found herself having to play it by ear as she got closer to him.   
  
----- This is Vaughn. Amazing, gorgeous, sweet, devoted Vaughn... who told me he was in love with me the last time I saw him.----- She felt anticipation, anxiousness, excited, apprehensive, but as she finally approached him, it all faded. She felt one thing-- a mixture of relief, calmness and elation.   
  
Love.  
  
She was less than an arm's length behind him, but he hadn't noticed she was there. She watched through a haze as the person who was engaged in a conversation with him, excused themselves. Wanting to alert him to her presence, but unable to find words in her brain, she reached a hand out just as he began to turn. She meant to place her hand on his shoulder, but instead she caught the crook of his neck.   
  
Both feeling the electricity of each other's skin, Vaughn turned around faster. His expression was surprised at first, quickly turning into recognition, before he settled down into the comforting gaze he always looked at her through, reading her every thought. The moment was just that-- a single second if not less, but it was the first time she'd been close to him in such a long while that for once, time had listened to her and slowed down so she could drink all of him in.  
  
"Hey..." she began softly. She wondered what to say next, but she shouldn't have bothered. Vaughn took care of that for her.  
  
Before she could get the whole word out, he closed the distance between them, pulling her into a long, sweet kiss. Surprise grasped her at first, but it was quickly replaced by an emotional and physical high she had never felt before, and kissing him back came naturally.   
  
He moved his lips, slowly, memorizing every curve in hers until his lips parted, parting hers immediately. His hands were on her face, one on her left side, back behind her ear, thumb slowly stroking her face. His other hand was tangled in her hair, his thumb playing with her earlobe, while his mouth worked magic. He was tantalizingly gentle, and she realized none of her senses ever felt this good. He smelt masculine, a midnight blue aroma, filling her brain with images of a moonlit bedroom, blue light streaming. He tasted like mint, vanilla and alcohol, sweet and drugging, leaving her satiated enough to just keep on wanting more. Finally there was his touch, his lips, his hands, alighting her skin with sensory overload, her nerves dancing, skin burning and cool, leaving a satisfying buzz everywhere he touched her, and bareness everywhere he didn't.   
  
He pulled away slowly, disconnecting his mouth from hers, but not before placing a small peck on her lips.   
  
He looked at her, eyes full, green blazing with a fiery warmth-- more than happiness, more than passion. She looked at him, overwhelming her fourth sense, sight. He look as amazing as ever, perfectly etched jaw, cliffface cheekbones, and thin inviting lips...----- Ohhh, those lips.----- And then he smiled.   
  
It wasn't even the biggest smile he had ever given her, but it reached his eyes, his lips stretching out contently. It was a greeting, an acknowledgement, an announcement, and a promise of much more than that one kiss had delivered.   
  
"Happy Birthday," he said. She smiled. ----- Best birthday gift, I ever recieved.----- Suddenly overwhelmed, she pulled herself into his arms, holding him tightly to her, arms clasped around his neck.  
  
"I've missed you so much," she whispered, almost close to tears.   
  
"God, I missed you too," he said. His breath tickled her ears, making her recall his mouth and the sensation of it on hers. He pulled away, so that he could look at her, smile growing in radiance. "I have to ask you something before I forget." She looked at him, scrutinizingly.  
  
"What is it?" she said.  
  
"I have hockey, with the kids tomorrow at noon. Will you come with me?" he asked. Her smile grew as to match his.  
  
"Yes. But I don't know how much you want me there-- I can barely skate," she said. He grinned.  
  
"I don't mind. One more pupil brightens up my day," he said. She beamed back at him, dropping a quick kiss on his lips. At least it was meant to be a quick kiss, but as soon as she touched his lips, she knew, that she could have a lifetime of kisses, and still not have it be enough. He smiled at her wickedly as they pulled apart. "Especially a pupil who can do that." She giggled.  
  
"I've been wanting to see you in action on the ice, for so long. You wouldn't believe how bad," she said. He grinned. She looked around, realizing where she was and giggled. "Vaughn, this is too much."   
  
"I told you we'd party," he said, smiling. After two long years, everything she wanted was standing in front of her. A pair of green eyes, along with the rest of his face and body in all it's 6-foot glory, was she needed anymore. She pulled him in for another kiss, revelling in the fact that she could do this whenever she wanted. She pulled away a few minutes later and told him exactly what was on her mind.  
  
"I can do this... kiss you, hug you, be with you, anytime I want," she said, still not fully believing the words, even as she spoke them. His eyes twinkled and glinted.  
  
"Yes. You can," he said, simply. She leaned in and kissed once more, wanting to lose count of the number of times she'd kissed him. She could still count them on one hand.   
  
"And I plan to. Anytime I want. And that's a lot, by the way," she said, leaning in once more.   
  
"Really? I couldn't tell," he said, amusedly. He dipped in for a quick kiss, but Sydney pulled him back in, letting her lips meander along every crevice of his mouth. "My lord, Sydney," he muttered, quietly. It came out pleadingly, almost like a moan.  
  
"I meant it when I said I missed you. And I've never gotten to do this," she replied. ----- Because if I ever had, I would have never stopped.------ She sobered, slightly. "You never let me respond. To what you said, the last time I saw you." Vaughn stiffened, almost imperceptibly, anticipating her response.  
  
"Well..." he began, but she silenced him with a look.  
  
"You told me nine months ago that you were in love with me, and I have to tell you now, Vaughn. That's what has gotten me through this time. And though now, it feels like I can't go a moment longer without being like this with you, I know that if this had taken longer... it would have gotten me through," she said, sincerely. He smiled and leaned in to kiss her. She had only a minute to wonder why he wasn't letting her respond to his confession of love, before letting her lips linger and pulling back so that he leaned forward. Finally, she gently pushed him away, remembering that they were in a restaurant full of people-- tucked away in a corner, albeit but in public, nonetheless. "There's people," she murmured. His eyes lit with a fire, and he leaned in, so that his entire body was pressed against her. He leaned past her mouth, holding her even more tightly to him and breathed into her ear.  
  
"You started it, Syd," he said, his breath tickling her ear and neck. His lips brushed the tips of her ears slightly, barely so that the sensation was heightened by anticipation. He pulled away from her completely, eyes glinting mischeviously, leaving her body longing for the contact there had been a few seconds ago. "I think you're being called."  
  
"Syd," Will was calling eagerly. He had an earnest expression on his face, and Sydney suspected he hadn't seen Vaughn and her. ----- Francie, on the other hand, might not be so unaware.---- She was grinning like a chesire cat. "Come cut your cake." She looked up at Vaughn, who was now an appropriate distance away. He took her hand and they walked towards the rapidly gathering crowd.   
  
"Hi Mike," Francie smirked. Vaughn leaned over and kissed Francie on the cheek, offering her a friendly smile.   
  
"You look great, Francie. You really are amazing. All this in one afternoon," Vaughn said, appreciatingly as Francie moved next to them. She glanced briefly at their clasped hands, as Vaughn let go so that Sydney could cut the cake. Everyone launched into "Happy Birthday" and Francie happily caught the looks that went between Vaughn and Sydney.  
  
**********  
  
It was finally a little past midnight when the last guest cleared out, leaving Vaughn and Francie exhausted in one corner, while Syd and Will cleaned up the obvious messes. She was tired, too, but then again, she was used to running on empty. Althought today she was hardly empty. She was free, she was done being a spy-- if she wanted, and the fact that she had a choice was better than either option--- but she still had the sneaking suspicion that the only reason she hadn't collapsed-- and had no desire to collapse-- was a handsome man talking animatedly with her best friend.   
  
----- Well they certainly get along. That's one out of the way.----- She glanced at Will who was pilling leftover dishes into a large sink.  
  
"So is that picture frame guy?" Will asked. Sydney giggled.  
  
"Yeah. That's Vaughn," she said, grinning.  
  
"His name is Vaughn? Is he European or something?" Will asked. Sydney smiled.  
  
"His name's actually Michael. Vaughn's his last name, it's just a force of habit. Though, I think he's got some French blood in him," she said, remembering hearing Vaughn once talk about spending Christmas with his family in France.  
  
"I see. So are you two together?" Will asked. She looked at him, and without control blurted it out.  
  
"I'm in love with him," she said, shocking herself as much as him.   
  
"You're what?" Will said, wide-eyed. But he had an amused smile.  
  
"I'm in love with him," she said. She'd wanted to say it for so long, and even though she hadn't been able to tell Vaughn yet, the potential for that perfect moment was gigantic, and she wasn't going to stop at him. -----I'm going to tell whoever will listen.-----  
  
"Wow... I had no idea that... we were just talking about him this morning and you didn't say a word!" Will said, accussingly. His face still wore that amused smile and she realized that Will's words had nothing but friendly affection behind them.   
  
"I didn't know what was going to happen Will. Today was a huge day at the bank, everything changed for me. And he's finally back in my life... I didn't want to jinx it this morning. But now... there's nothing to jinx. Everything I wanted to happen, has," she said. ----- I've seen Vaughn. Hell, I've kissed Vaughn, something I've thought about doing since I held his hand at the pier so many months ago.-----   
  
"Well as much as can happen in the exciting world of internation finance," Will quipped. Sydney shot him a bemused look, and lightly punched his arm. ----- If only you knew, Will. My life is the stuff Pulitzer Prizes are made of.-----  
  
"If you want to think of it like that," she said, snottily but her grin assured Will that she didn't mean anything by her tone. Will took a moment to study her. He had loved her once, and sometimes he was so afraid that she would just pull him into her spell again-- he could feel the sheer momentum of her gentle moves draw him in. But she had a life, very much seperated from his and he realized that it wasn't a matter of her being too far from him or ever too good for him. She simply wasn't for him. And once he'd realized that, he seen that he couldn't waste his life over someone who'd never be right for him.  
  
He studied her carefully now, washing over the features he noticed normally, fixating on the emotion that brightened them. Her smile was radiant, and her eyes glinted. Her shoulders, rather than being stick straight and alert like usual, had relaxed, making her posture seem less guarded. She really was in love, he realized, and every single thing about her was screaming it.  
  
"I have a question for you," Will said. Sydney turned to look him.  
  
"Shoot."  
  
"You've had this amazing, perfect day and you're in love with what I'm assuming is an amazing guy. What are you doing in here washing dishes with me, when he's right out there, all yours?" Will said, smile turning up at the conclusion of his question. Sydney's dubious expression added to his amusement, and her eyes twinkled.  
  
"That is an excellent question Will. And I'm afraid there's no suitable answer, so I'll just have to leave you with these dishes," she said, teasingly. Will feigned disappointment.  
  
"Well I didn't mean that as a reason for you to leave..." he said. She grinned at him and he beamed back, enjoying the moment. His eyes softened, and quietly but firmly he said, "Go on Syd." He hadn't thought it possible but her smile grew and she turned to leave.   
  
"Tell Francie to get her butt in here!" she heard him call as she approached Francie and Vaughn.  
  
"So Eric turns around, and there's his date... but he forgets about the stupid walrus impression and that this two chopsticks are still in his nose, while Craig and I are cracking up and cringing at the same time..." Vaughn said. Sydney watch him trail off as laughter captured both her lover and her best friend, and she had never felt lighter before. He noticed her as she approached the table. He took her hand and smiled up at her. "Hey Syd."  
  
"Oh my god Sydney. I can't believe you haven't told me about this Eric guy! Mike says you worked with him quite a bit... he sounds like the biggest goofball," Francie said. It took Sydney a minute to realize Francie was reffering to Weiss, but she grins when she puts the two names together.  
  
"Where is he today? You should have dragged him along," Sydney said. Vaughn shook his head.  
  
"Couldn't. He had to take over for me after I took off to come here. Poor guy probably just got off," Vaughn said, laughing evilly. The three fell into a happy, but slightly incomfortable silence. Sydney wanted to suggest to Vaughn that they get sometime together, but she didn't want to insult Francie. Luckily, Will comes in at the nick of time.  
  
"Fran? Francie! FRANCIE!" Will yells, frantically. "I need more soap, it all just fell down the sink!" At this, all three outside, giddy from alcohol and probably a sugar overdose, burst into laughter.  
  
"I better go help him," Francie said. Sydney nodded at Vaughn who seemed to understand what she was going to say.  
  
"Fran, I think Vaughn and I are going to get out of here," Sydney said. Francie nodded.  
  
"Okay, I'll see you later. And Mike, I better be seeing you around," Francie replied. Vaughn grinned.  
  
"Definitely. And I'll try at bring Eric one of these days too," he said. He looked at Sydney at the idea, and she beamed. She definitely wanted her best friend to meet his. He stood up, and still holding her hand, they walked out as Francie head into the kitchen.   
  
"So where do you want to go?" Vaughn asked. Sydney looked at him, smiling.  
  
"Where's your favorite place?" Sydney asked. Vaughn grinned at her.  
  
"There's this coffee shop actually, that'd be perfect. It's open all night," he said, eyes dancing. She beamed back at him.  
  
"Let's go there then," she said.   
  
"But I have to stop by and let Donovan into my house. I left him with my neighbor so that he could be taken for a walk, but I promised I wouldn't leave him overnight," Vaughn said. Sydney nodded and they walked towards his car, as he told her about his version of their mutually favorite day.  
  
"I mean, I was nervous," he said. She smiled softly, as he seemed to recapture that nervousness.  
  
"Yeah?" she said. He nodded, enthusiastically.  
  
"Yeah. Like you have no idea how nervous. Sweaty palm nervous. Sweaty palm, stage fright nervous," he said. She giggled.   
  
"I love that," she said, quietly. He looked at her sharply. They had reached his car, and stopped abruptly.  
  
"What?" he said. She looked at him, hoping for her chance.  
  
"I love that... you got nervous over me. That you threw a party for me. That you charmed my best friend in a matter of minutes," she said. She waited for his smile and it came quickly. "I love that nine months ago, you told me exactly what I needed to hear." He looked at her intensely, and her breath caught in her throat, before she continued.  
  
'I hate that you never let me respond," she said, smiling. He broke their gaze, staring bashfully at his shoes. "But it stops there." He grinned up at her, and reached behind, opening the passenger door for her. He sat her inside, before closing the door and making his way into the car. They drove to his house, pulling up at the pavement outside what seemed like a beautiful neighborhood. Sydney turned to look at him.  
  
As he stopped the engine, the moonlight caught his face, making his eyes shine and illuminating his whole face. She'd never seen him look better.  
  
"I'm in love with you. And I think I will be for a long time now," she said. He turned to look at her, and smiled. Pulling her to him, he brought his lips to her, kissing her sweetly, gently, driving her crazy with the building momentum of pleasure he was giving her. She pulled him closer, running her hands through his hair and their kiss deepened, crossing the line that would have been inappropriate in front of all those people. Their mouths explored each other, tongues and lips crashing against each other.  
  
They never made it to that coffee shop.  
  
Author's note: Okay. So it's done... ALMOST! I'm thinking of an epilogue... please tell me if you want one, cos I've really enjoyed writing this, and I kinda don't wanna stop!!! Hope you liked it... tell me if you want another chapter. I hope the ending was as good as you hoped it would be, just gimme a review and tell me WHATEVER is on your mind. Thank you guys for reading and to EVERY SINGLE REVIEWER OUT THERE. you guys are great. 


	7. Epilogue

Title: Shaant  
  
For other info, pls look at previous chapters. I want to thank everyone who reviewed right now:  
  
AgentVick, valley-girl, twin*muse, Egyptian Kat, baby le, star, Konstantine, BronwynMaye, HoneyB, Cat, =) & me (whomever you are ;-) ), rach, Colly E., rossandrachelforever, Secret Agent Girl, Lara, SoccaSweetie17, Katty, Aimee, Lainie, mango19, fan_kitty, Brittany, Tasha, thesheeplove,r Amber, nana, kittyfantastico, Raina, Ryanne, snosamie6, Jubilee, i love this story, Moose, yumytaffy, maploc, zara, saccharine, Jasmine, Carly, jhfortier, Rachel, ptitelfe...  
  
yes that is every single one of you that reviewed, and I want to thank all of you. you guys are great and are the reaosn I finished this story. And to someone who e-mailed me asking: the title means calm or peacefulness (or hehe stability) in Hindi. This is has been such a great story to work on... I originally imagined it as a one parter, then a three parter, and now finally it has ended with six parts and an epilogue. There's a a bit of POV and tense change in this epilogue, but I thought it was appropriate. Anyway, have fun reading this and thank you guys. Please do drop me one last review or note for this story. Also I do this a lot: if I have an idea that i think an author could pull of, I sometimes send it to them asking them to write it. If any of you have a loose plot, or an idea or a particular type of story that you would like to see written, send me a review telling me about it. Most probably, I'll take you up on it.   
  
  
  
***************************************  
  
You stretch and glance lazily around. He's out of bed, but the room, like it always does, smells like he did that night-- what had you called it? You still remember, because he smells just as good, if not better.   
  
You had called it masculine, a midnight blue aroma, and it filled your brain with images of a moonlit bedroom, blue light streaming, images that later came to life.  
  
You break out of your reverie to listen to the noise coming from the bathroom-- the shower running, the pitter-patter as water splashes in various directions, and if you listened closely, you think you can hear humming. It brings a grin to your face, one you think will be as wide as his will be when you tell him.  
  
It's been nearly a year since the first night of your freedom, since you fell into Michael's (not Vaughn anymore) arms and never left.   
  
And now once again, if dependency and want and utter need and all-encompassing love wasn't enough, yet another thing to cement your relationship.   
  
You have a feeling he's going to propose. After that first night, you realized you had skipped around and over so many things in a normal relationship that you both needed to take it one step at a time. You both were in love with each other, that was true, but you had been seperated for nine months. Even before that, he was never part of your everyday life, and though it had been clear he would be fine with your friends, it had been a long time since you had a man in your life. Since Danny in fact.  
  
You had skipped the casual dating, with the relationship growing with missions and clandestine meetings instead, but you very well couldn't just jump in. You had to accustom yourselves to a relationship with each other, and you had to tread carefully. Neither of you wanted to lose a relationship you'd wanted for so long, and you didn't think you could ever stand being away from him again.   
  
So instead, even though the admissions of love were plentiful, and you barely spent even one night alone, you took other things slow. You had dates-- but they didn't ever end until the next morning, when he'd have to go to work or you had a class. Even then, they ended with "I love you"s, and never uncertainty as to who would call when. You met each other's parents-- but for your father, it was simply reintroducing your former handler as your boyfriend. For his mother, it was support for Michael, so that he could have the strength to make his mother understand that your relationship was not a betrayal. You didn't move in together-- but both of you had keys to each other's apartments. Michael would sometimes come over even if he knew you weren't there, and every single one of his neighbors knew you, from your name, who you were (and who you were to Michael, especially), to unfortuantely, what you looked like after a night with him when you retrieved his paper in the morning.   
  
And though this is none of what you had before-- the secrets, the tiny precious moments, the utter confidence in each other-- it's okay, because it's so much more. You don't have secrets with him because you don't need to. He is not your sole source of trust out of neccesity, but out of choice. Those precious moments are probably more precious, but no longer tiny. You two might be in a normal relationship, but to you-- and to him-- that was what was extraordinary about it.   
  
But the settling in and adjusting to stage has passed. It was so important for you two to establish a comfortable lifestyle with each other, and you did it (he did it mostly, you think. Your life was brand new, all the rules re-written, but he had to change his for you). You are comfortable in every sense, and with normal couples, it would be time to take a step forward. Maybe say those three all-important words. But you two aren't normal (and you love that it's only your past that keeps you abnormal) and that step was taken before any of this started. Which is why you've been anticipating a proposal.  
  
You know exactly what you are going to say-- "Yes, I love you so much"-- and you have no doubts that it is the only answer that is right. But your anticipation comes from him. Where is he going to propose? When is he going to do it? How is he going to do it? He's been romantic, and attentive (bordering on clairvoyant) and well, perfect (or perfect enough) in all the years he's known you and even more so in the one he's been with you. He is amazing, and you thank whoever it is controls your life (because a year ago it sure as hell wasn't you) that they sent him. This victory wouldn't be half as much without someone to share it with-- it wouldn't have been half as great if you were celebrating acquired revenge rather than new hope, it wouldn't be half as much without him. You can't remember being as happy as you have been in the past year, and you realize its because you never have been-- not many people are. Despite the shaky start, things couldn't have been beter with him, and some how, like all your dreams asked for, it did all work out. You smile once more.  
  
You think you know how he's going to propose, or at least how he will wind up doing it. It may not be in his plan, but he has no idea what you have in store for him, so all plans will be tossed out the window. You don't want to wait longer to be asked, so you get up from the bed and walk towards to bathroom.  
  
He's inside, standing at the sink in nothing but a towel, shaving. He grins, as you sleepily mutter a greeting and standing behind him, wrap your arms around his waist. He briefly strokes you arms until you rest your chin on his shoulder, standing on your tip-toes. He twists his head, gives you a kiss that smears shaving cream all over your face, and turns back to the task at hand.  
  
After you wipe the cream off, you stare at his reflection in the mirror. He's such a beautiful man, and he's only become more beautiful since you've been able to memorize every part of his body. You run a finger absentmindedly across his abdomen, chiseled and hard, and bury your mouth and nose in his shoulder, which is the same shade of gold as the rest of his skin. His face is still the same, bar a few wrinkles, and the boyish grin betrays his age. His mouth is still delicious, with his thin (and what you like to call oh-so-French) lips. His jaw is still angular, cheeks smooth and thin. But you like most (and always have) is his eyes. They've changed so much and so lilttle-- they're still the most beautiful part of the most beautiful thing you've ever seen, and they're still his "tell", the dead giveaway to what he really feels. They're still what you love most about his body (and there's so much to love in that alone), but you love even more that now instead of unearthing worry and anxiety hiding love, you see happiness and contendness.   
  
"How you doing, beautiful?" he asks, playfully. You wonder why he calls you "beautiful" when he's the embodiment of the word-- his mind, his heart, his intentions, everything is as beautiful as his looks.   
  
"I have something to tell you," you say into his shoulder. He drops his razor, and wipes his hands before covering your arms with his and intertwining your fingers. An amused grin spreads on his face, the kind that is such a sexy smirk you would normally forget about talking. But you have something important to say, and if you're right about him (and you haven't been wrong since that day you first sat in his office and thought he was "playing" you), he'll have something important for you after.   
  
"What is it, baby?" he asks. You giggle, and lean close to his ear.  
  
"That's just it, Michael. I'm pregnant," you say, grinning widely and looking in the mirror for a reaction.  
  
You don't get one, just that smirk that you love, and two words that shock you.  
  
"I know," he says, smirk widening into a grin. You are still talking to each other through the mirror, and he is enjoying your reaction.  
  
"What do you mean, 'you know'?" you ask. How does he know?  
  
"I found the pregnancy test last week, and I figured when you cancelled lunch you were going to see the doctor," he says. He turns to face into, and kisses you deeply. "I'm so happy, baby. This is going to be perfect." There it is, you think. He's going to ask you.   
  
But he doesn't, surprising you once again, by simply pulling you to him. He's happier than he ever has been, that you can tell, but you're stunned by the fact that he hasn't proposed.  
  
******  
  
It's around eight months later, and the baby is coming when you think of that moment again. He still hasn't proposed but instead the two of you now live together.  
  
You talked everyday of the baby and your plans for it. You told of how when you were a little girl, you'd seen your parents in love (a lie, but one you still believed because of Michael) and always wanted to be there for their wedding. He made plans, built dreams along with a nursery and told everyone he could that he was going to be a father. He secretly hoped for a boy, and then it was confirmed. You talked of names and wishes that would come true and everything.  
  
You had been surprised that he had not suggested marriage, or even brought it up (nevermind that you never did) but in the end you let things be. This was Michael, the father of your child, your savior, your lover, your everything, and things were quite perfect the way they were.  
  
*******  
  
Once again, nearly ten hours later, while holding your son, that you think of the moment you told Michael, but you think of it in another way. You often wished you'd been there when he'd seen the pregnancy test, but his reaction had been so brilliant (he'd taken the day off work, now that he was full-time CIA upper level desk jockey) that you'd never cared. And through every moment of the pregnancy, he'd been so cooperative, so understanding, so caring (it bordered on worship and both of you knew you loved it).   
  
You couldn't ask for more in that moment (or any other moments with Michael, and now your son).   
  
Lucas William Jonathan Vaughn. He is beautiful, a small baby, sleeping quietly in your arms. He was named after both your father's (Michael's and your ideas), but Lucas had been a name that somehow through all the jokes (Michael said it was in honor of Luke Skywalker, you said it was in honor of Luke Perry-- you'd loved 90210 once upon a time) it had shone through and lasted. So Luke Vaughn sits in your arms, opening his beautiful green eyes (you were so happy about those) when his father walks in the door. He doesn't cry but gazes adoringly at Michael as he motions for you to move over so he can sit on the bed with you.  
  
Michael looks at you seriously, intensely and takes a breath before he begins to speak. You know this signals something imporant.  
  
"All our lives, we've had to deal with not being there for enough of our parents lives," he begins. You would cringe on the inside except you understand that his words have another purpose and that he is very much at peace with whose daughter you are. "And you told me once that you wished you'd witness their love, their marriage. Which is precisely why I delayed this moment by nine months."  
  
And there, in that hospital room, with your new family, your whole life, Michael Vaughn proposes to bring another Vaughn into the family-- Sydney Vaughn.  
  
You asked for stability so long ago, and like he does with every thing that he possibly can, Michael Vaughn delivers it long after you stop asking.  
  
The End 


End file.
